Let’s just name it: life lately feels like someone spilled a kombucha elixir all over the motherboard of reality.
Plans cancel. Flights delay. Your Wi-Fi drops exactly when you're about to send that soul-aligned email. Or worse, Mercury retrograde is technically over, yet your phone’s autocorrect still thinks "I'm aligning with Source" should be "I'm aligning with sauce."
And here you are, wondering if you’re cursed or chosen.
The truth? You’re neither.
You’re being recalibrated.
Right now, Uranus, the planet of sudden shifts, is stirring things up like a cosmic espresso shot to the nervous system. Add in Neptune fog and Saturnian pressure to “get your life together,” and you’ve got yourself a full-blown multidimensional upgrade disguised as adult chaos.
Delays aren’t punishment. They’re pause points.
They say: “You don’t need more to-do’s. You need to hear what God’s actually trying to whisper between the dings and pings.”
Even Dolores Cannon once said,
“There are no coincidences, only synchronicities and soul contracts you don’t remember signing.”
So no, your calendar exploding isn’t random. It’s a gentle, holy interruption. A white-gold post-it from the Divine:
"What you think is urgent may not be aligned."
Mary Magdalene didn’t become the keeper of sacred codes by being on time to everything. She became the spaceholder because she knew how to hold space when everything else fell apart.
Chaos is a holy initiation.
The question isn’t “Why is this happening?”
It’s “What frequency is this asking me to embody?”
When everything delays or derails, your nervous system starts panicking. That’s the ego’s emergency broadcast system. But your Higher Self?
She’s calmly lighting a candle in the dark, whispering,
“Let it burn, beloved. What’s meant to remain will rise from the ash.”
And yes, sometimes it takes sacred rage, tears in the car, or cold coffee in the driveway to hear her clearly.
Listen. You’re a multidimensional being in a meat suit, managing small or teenage human energy fields while weaving timelines through spelling tests, snack negotiations, and spontaneous existential crises... whether it’s public school, homeschool, or unschooled by the Moon.
Of course you’re glitching.
The late astrologer and mystic Dane Rudhyar wrote,
“Astrology is a language. If you understand this language, the sky speaks to you.”
And lately, the sky is saying:
Slow the hell down.
Not in laziness, but in sacred listening. Because your guides aren’t going to scream over your Spotify playlist. They’re subtle. Sovereign. Surgical.
So if your tech keeps crashing, your appointments keep rescheduling, and you keep forgetting what day it is, it might be less about dysfunction and more about divine override.
Here’s the sacred protocol for when your external world feels like a galactic blooper reel:
Bless the delay. Say it out loud. “This is protection. This is precision. This is pacing.” Watch how fast your field stops spiraling.
Breathe with intention. Four in. Six out. Do it in the bathroom stall. Do it in traffic. Do it with your toddler sitting on your face. It still works.
Anchor your field. Hands on heart + belly. Visualize God’s golden-white light flooding your nervous system. Let it sparkle through your spinal column like Jesus doing Reiki in a disco robe.
Laugh at the madness. Literally. Watch a cat video. Send a meme. Mary Magdalene didn’t ascend by being serious 24/7. Humor transmutes density.
Check the frequency, not just the facts. Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me?” ask “What’s trying to shift in me?” "Why is this happening for me?"
Just because it’s chaotic doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Chaos isn’t failure, it’s frequency compression.
When you’re being upgraded, everything that’s incompatible with your next level has to fall apart, or fall away.
You’re not being punished.
You’re being positioned.
Sometimes that positioning looks like sitting in a broken-down car listening to birds instead of attending a meeting that would’ve drained your soul.
Sometimes it’s not knowing what’s next but feeling, deep in your chest, that something sacred is shifting, even if the Wi-Fi won’t load your calendar to prove it.
What if the delay you’re cursing is the one thing keeping you from repeating a timeline you prayed to leave behind?